If you are ever up late at night watching television, odds are that you have seen commercials from this large company. They have been around probably the longest out of all the sex toy companies out there, so I wanted to see for myself if Adam and Eve is actually any good, or is just a byproduct of being around for so long.
So I hopped onto their website and the very first thing I noticed was just how outdated the site looked. Not in terms of literal dates or anything like that, but the font and the layout was so 2010. At least. It was probably not updated in at least a decade if I’m being honest. The website content appears to be up to date, for what it’s worth, but the look and feel definitely made me feel old and was somewhat of a turn off, even before I started actually browsing their site.
Having gotten that complaint out of the way, I soon began to notice that the organization of all their items was a bit convoluted. This in part is simply due to the fact that Adam and Eve has a lot of content to offer, from sex toys, to lingerie, to lubricants and even to adult movies. Heck, they even have stuff like sex furniture, and sex supplements. So despite being overwhelming, it at least felt like I was in the right place and whatever I was looking for could be found here. Just for fun I decided to try out their online chat help, and while the responses from the chat seemed to come from an actual person rather than a robot, the answers they gave me seemed like they were being read off of a cheat sheet. No personality came through whatsoever!
Anyway, after I was done testing out the chat service, I went straight to the vibrators, my typical go-to choice for sex toys. In particular, I went to the bullet vibrators section since I haven’t bought one of those in a long time. The item that I decided to purchase was called the “Screaming O Vooom! Bullet”. A really weird name, but it caught my attention. This was on the cheaper end of their bullet vibrator selections, and despite my selection of this vibrator, the description of the product was bland and uninspiring. They used words like “average intensity” and “smooth surface feels so good” as if I was in the fifth grade trying to learn how to read. I don’t know why their wording was so poorly done, but in any case, I bought this bad boy and it arrived within the typical three business days.
I’ll start with the positives on this bad boy – they came with free batteries. But otherwise, this product was extremely underwhelming. Nothing unique about it from a bullet vibrator standpoint whatsoever. In fact, those free batteries I just mentioned were really just Adam and Eve throwing me as a customer a small bone, because they literally only lasted about 50 minutes tops, which for me is like one masturbation sessions. Luckily I did have some extra AG-13 watch batteries lying around my house to replace them with, but I am not excited about having to burn through three new batteries for every hour I spend using this bullet vibrator! The vibrator did its job just fine, so I’m not denying that fact. But I can almost literally get a similar bullet vibrator just about anywhere else, with a much longer battery and larger too (this vibrator was only 2.25 inches long).
The price of this particular vibrator was $12.95, which is a very cheap sex toy in general. However, because the vibrator was so underwhelming in general, I definitely do not think that $12.95 was well spent at all. I probably would have paid as much as $5 for this particular bullet vibrator from Adam and Eve and even that is probably being generous on my part. It literally felt like one of those toys you get in the vending machines at arcades or restaurants – you know the ones that literally cost just a quarter, or a dollar at most. On an absolute level, nearly $13 is obviously not a big deal and won’t break my wallet for anyone. But relative to the product that I did receive, I definitely overpaid a lot!
This actually prompted me to go back and look at all of the offerings on Adam and Eve, and I noticed an eerily similar theme. There are a lot of products on Adam and Eve that are relatively cheap, but don’t look like they are anywhere close to being worth that price. And based on what I know of Adam and Eve, this makes perfect sense. As a company that has been around for so long and has pretty solid brand recognition (at least from an adult industry perspective), their goal appears to be making a profit by selling high volumes of cheap products. And while this is not bad for the casual buyer, it is a terrible deal for people who are willing to pay for higher quality products, or for those who at the very least want something that reflects the actual price that they end up paying. Just because something is cheap, it doesn’t mean that it’s worth what you paid for and Adam and Eve is particularly sneaky in that regard by using generally cheap prices (sold at high volume) to make a profit at the expense of the customer.
STORE: 6 / 10
PRODUCT: 3/ 10
PRICE: 5 / 10
OVERALL: 4.7 / 10
BOTTOM LINE: Adam and Eve has all the makings of a successful company, from its longevity to its solid brand recognition. However, they do not use this success as a means of providing customers with the best products for the best price. Instead, they rest on their laurels and push through high volumes of cheaply-made products that are marked up at the expense of the customer, in hopes that they will not recognize that even a cheap product should be held to a certain level of quality. I never plan to purchase from them again, and I highly recommend that every woman who reads this review follows suit.